Table 11 Typical example of writing essays that showed longitudinal improvement (written by a female student in Class A)

Time 1, Prompt 2: Important animal

The most important animal in my country,Japan,is a dog. There are two reasons.

First,dogs are the most popular animal in Japan. I think one of the animals [Possesive errors] people want to have as a pet is a dog. Many of my friends who have a pet keep a dog. In pet shops, the number of saling dogs is largest. Judging from these aspects, Japanese [Missing or Extra Articles] people are the most familiar with dogs in all animals.

Second,a dog is a very useful animal. Dogs have been kept by Japanese people since ancient times such as yayoi-period. No other animals is [Subject-Verb Agreement] kept by them for such a long time. In those days,dogs helped people with farming and getting foods. This fact shows that ancient people choose a dog as a useful helper. Still, dogs help many people in many cases. Mainly,dogs help disabled people.

For these reasons,dogs are popular and help p [Other errors]

[Organization & Development: Introductory material and Conclusion were not detected.]; [Repetition of Words: 28 words: animal(s), dog(s), people, helped]; [Passive Voice: Dogs have … yayoi-period.; No other animals … long time.]

Holistic score = 3; Errors = 3.73; Words = 134; Words/Sentence = 10.4; Transitional words = 2.99; Organization = 3

Time 2, Prompt 3: Living longer

I think the reasons that people are living longer now are the development of medicine and trend of living a healthy life.

There are many diseases that cannot be cured before World War &#8545 [II: garbled character]; and can be cured completely now thanks to the development of medicine. I think most [Missing or Extra Article] famous disease which shows this is cubitous [Spelling]. Before the end of [Spelling]WW& #8545 [II: garbled character] ; [Extra Comma], many Japanese people died of this disease. The main cause of death in Japan at that time is said to be cubitous [Spelling]. However, since people study hard about cubitous [Spelling], they discover the way of curing cubitous [Spelling] and cubitous [Spelling] became a disease which does not kill people. This discovery contribute [Subject-Verb Agreement] to saving many people’s lives.

Nowadays, more and more people try to eat healthy foods and take exercise moderately. The lifestyle is very important for your health, so it must be related with how long people live. There are many examples which shows people consider about living a healthy life gradually. Japanese food is popular among European and American people. This is because Japanese food is said to be healthy. In fact, the average of life longevity [Spelling] in Japan is very high. There are many [Missing Final Punctuation]

To sum up, the development of medicine and trend of living a healthy life contribute to people’s living longer.

[Organization & Development: Introductory material was not detected.]; [Repetition of Words: 10 words: people, people’s]

Holistic score = 4; Errors = 5.61; Words = 214; Words/Sentence = 14.5; Transitional words = 2.34; Organization = 4

Time 3, Prompt 4: Prepare for a trip

I would take my mobile phone. Mobile [Missing or Extra Article] phone is inevitable [Missing or Extra Article] item for my life. Taking only it with me enables me to do a lot of things.

First, I can contact with my friends or my family frequently although I am away from them. Of course, I can see many prople [Spelling] and make new friends during my trip, but it is sure that I will feel like talking with my friend in my hometown. In addition, if my parents have never heard from me for as long as one year, they may be worried about my safety and health. It is essential that I send a message to my friends and family or phone them.

Second, if I always take my cell phone with me, I can take a picuture [Spelling] whenever I feel the scenes beautiful or encounter a very rare scene. Some people say that a camera can take a much better picture than a mobile pnone [Spelling]. However, as technology is developing, we can take by mobile phone as nice pictures as by [Preposition Error] a camera.

Third, the application included by a mobile phone shows me a map around where you are and the way to your destination. Even if I lose my way and cannot know which road I should take, all I have to do is to take my mobile phone from my pocket. Mobile [Missing or Extra Article] phone leads me to my destination.

For these various kinds of faculty, only [Missing or Extra Article] mobile phone helps me in many situations. Mobile phones would surely support my long trip.

[Repetition of Words: 62 words: I, take, my, mobile, phone, taking, me]

Holistic score = 4; Errors = 4.15; Words = 254; Words/Sentence = 17.1; Transitional words = 2.76; Organization = 5