Table 6 The essay written by Student 69 (left) and raters’ comments (right)

I think dream motivates students to study their subject at university. I major “Material Life and Science”. I study Chemistry, Physics, and biology. Studying Science is very hard for me because it is difficult. But I want to be a scientist in the future. So, I can do my best to study science. And we often do experiment about chemistry, Physics, and biorogy. It is very fun. And I think GPA motivates student to study their subject at university. If we couldn’t get good GPA, we can’t enter the room of experiment which we want to enter. So, we have to study hard about subject which we are not interested in. If I could not enter the room which we are not interesting in, I’m very sad and I can’t do my best. So, I study hard now to become a sicentist.

1. The student attempts to make a valid point that is related to the topic. (R3)

2. low CT: explanation of context egocentric (R5)

3. It is unfortunate that the student chooses to focus entirely on his/her own experiences and circumstances. Although these are not wholly unrelated, the student could have extended his/her argument by including general issues which are related to the main topic. (R3)

4. The 10th sentence (about GPA) could have been given more logical support resulting in what would have been a more coherent essay. (R3)

5. some CT: considers implications and impact on other people (R5)

6. It’s not that CT skills are poor, rather there is not much on display. The ideas are kind of common sense, only developed very simply and entirely from the writer’s own experience. (R1)